08/04: Real Life, Presidential Politics, and The Tao of Steve
Category: Politics
Posted by: A Waco Farmer
The independent cult film, The Tao of Steve (2000), follows the exploits of "an underachieving, overweight, overeducated former philosophy student turned Kierkegaard-quoting kindergarten teacher," lead character, Dex, whom women, inexplicably, find irresistible.*
How does an abdominous public school teacher so effortlessly seduce beautiful women?
Actually there is an explanation: The Tao of Steve.
Who is Steve?
"Steve is the prototypical cool American male. Steve McGarrett [Hawaii Five-O], Steve Austin [Six Million Dollar Man], Steve McQueen. [H]e's the guy on his horse, the guy alone. He has his own code of honor, his own code of ethics, his own rules of living. He never, ever tries to impress the women--but he always gets the girl."
How do you become Steve?
There are rules.
The first rule of Being Steve:
Eliminate your desire. "If you're out with this girl and even THINKING about sexual intercourse, you're finished, as women can smell an agenda...."
Enough said. There is not a man alive who doesn't understand this.
The second rule of Being Steve:
Be excellent in her presence. You must do something that somehow demonstrates your worthiness.
Evolutionary biology, perhaps. Something primordial draws women to men who are good at something--not necessarily something important in the grand scheme of things--but in an eco-system that favors the fittest, one must exhibit some trait worthy of natural selection.
A Personal Aside: I happily met and courted my beautiful wife (a brilliant history major) while I was king of the history geeks (two years earlier I would not have warranted a second glance). When she eventually brought me home to meet the family, it just so happened that I excelled at one of their favorite pastimes (trivial pursuit). I was Steve. Needless to say, I never let her see me dance or roller skate until after we were married.
The third rule of Being Steve:
Withdraw. According to Dex, Heidegger asserted: "We pursue that which retreats from us."
Dex: "Both men and women are interested in one another. It's natural, except we're on different timetables. Women want us, like, y'know, fifteen minutes after we want them, so alright, if you hold out for twenty she'll be chasing you for five."
Presidential Politics? Really? The connection?
In many ways, this is also the Tao of George...Washington, that is.
The old style of running for president (in the mode of the Father of our Country) was not to run at all.
After demonstrating worthiness, a proper candidate would convince all concerned that he had no desire for the office (standing rather than running--allowing the electorate to find him, rather than actively campaigning). And, finally, the statesman would withdraw to his front porch to await the call of the people--would he accept or decline their invitation? We held our breath in anticipation of the answer.
Do any of the current candidates meet this standard?
An Emphatic NO! Times have changed. The front-porch campaigns were always a bit disingenuous, but we completely abandoned that charade in the early twentieth century.
Another Aside: if the old regime were still in place, we might be getting ready for President Thompson--the person who clearly wanted to be president least.
But we are now operating under an entirely new set of rules. No one can deny that Hillary Clinton desires the Oval Office. Obviously, John McCain very much wants to be president. And, for the most part, we are okay with that. For the most part--although an overly zealous suitor may still strike us as unseemly in our deep collective subconscious.
Does Obama violate the first rule of George in an egregious manner? Perhaps. From the moment Senator Barack Obama ascended Capitol Hill, he has suffered from a severe case of Potomac Fever. Without a doubt, one day one of his biographers will entitle this chapter of his life: "Young Man in a Hurry." For as long as we have known him, this forty-six-year-old, half-term senator has shown himself too eager for elevation.
Will that hurt him with anyone other than historians of nineteenth-century American politics? Hard to say.
Less serious--but not insignificant. Last week in Pennsylvania, Candidate Obama indirectly violated the Second Rule of Being Steve: he looked foolish in front of the electorate.
To demonstrate his "regular-guyness" for some Quaker State hardhats, he bowled.
The Bad News: he bowled a 37 in seven frames. The pictures were horrible. He looked goofy in his shirtsleeves and necktie, bowling gutter balls and making excuses. For the first time in this campaign, he looked like a pathetic poser.
Full disclosure: I bowl about as well as I golf--which is not very impressive. But on a typical night, not having bowled for a couple of years, and drinking a beer or two during the course of the evening to loosen up, I am going to bowl between 100 and 140. That won't make it on the PBA Tour--but it generally puts me in the running for top male performer and usually beats the girls. Obama? For perspective, the last time I went bowling with family friends, their teenage daughter rolled a 37.
Bowling is a working man's game. Obama looked very much like a Harvard pansy ineptly pandering to the yokels. Although he probably won't get this conceit--he bowled a turkey without ever rolling a strike. I tend to think this tip-toe through the bowling alley may prove more damaging than most aristocratic pundits appreciated last week. In short, for that particular moment, Barack was very un-Steve.
Note: the quote from the first sentence comes from the Wikipedia entry for The Tao of Steve.
How does an abdominous public school teacher so effortlessly seduce beautiful women?
Actually there is an explanation: The Tao of Steve.
Who is Steve?
"Steve is the prototypical cool American male. Steve McGarrett [Hawaii Five-O], Steve Austin [Six Million Dollar Man], Steve McQueen. [H]e's the guy on his horse, the guy alone. He has his own code of honor, his own code of ethics, his own rules of living. He never, ever tries to impress the women--but he always gets the girl."
How do you become Steve?
There are rules.
The first rule of Being Steve:
Eliminate your desire. "If you're out with this girl and even THINKING about sexual intercourse, you're finished, as women can smell an agenda...."
Enough said. There is not a man alive who doesn't understand this.
The second rule of Being Steve:
Be excellent in her presence. You must do something that somehow demonstrates your worthiness.
Evolutionary biology, perhaps. Something primordial draws women to men who are good at something--not necessarily something important in the grand scheme of things--but in an eco-system that favors the fittest, one must exhibit some trait worthy of natural selection.
A Personal Aside: I happily met and courted my beautiful wife (a brilliant history major) while I was king of the history geeks (two years earlier I would not have warranted a second glance). When she eventually brought me home to meet the family, it just so happened that I excelled at one of their favorite pastimes (trivial pursuit). I was Steve. Needless to say, I never let her see me dance or roller skate until after we were married.
The third rule of Being Steve:
Withdraw. According to Dex, Heidegger asserted: "We pursue that which retreats from us."
Dex: "Both men and women are interested in one another. It's natural, except we're on different timetables. Women want us, like, y'know, fifteen minutes after we want them, so alright, if you hold out for twenty she'll be chasing you for five."
Presidential Politics? Really? The connection?
In many ways, this is also the Tao of George...Washington, that is.
The old style of running for president (in the mode of the Father of our Country) was not to run at all.
After demonstrating worthiness, a proper candidate would convince all concerned that he had no desire for the office (standing rather than running--allowing the electorate to find him, rather than actively campaigning). And, finally, the statesman would withdraw to his front porch to await the call of the people--would he accept or decline their invitation? We held our breath in anticipation of the answer.
Do any of the current candidates meet this standard?
An Emphatic NO! Times have changed. The front-porch campaigns were always a bit disingenuous, but we completely abandoned that charade in the early twentieth century.
Another Aside: if the old regime were still in place, we might be getting ready for President Thompson--the person who clearly wanted to be president least.
But we are now operating under an entirely new set of rules. No one can deny that Hillary Clinton desires the Oval Office. Obviously, John McCain very much wants to be president. And, for the most part, we are okay with that. For the most part--although an overly zealous suitor may still strike us as unseemly in our deep collective subconscious.
Does Obama violate the first rule of George in an egregious manner? Perhaps. From the moment Senator Barack Obama ascended Capitol Hill, he has suffered from a severe case of Potomac Fever. Without a doubt, one day one of his biographers will entitle this chapter of his life: "Young Man in a Hurry." For as long as we have known him, this forty-six-year-old, half-term senator has shown himself too eager for elevation.
Will that hurt him with anyone other than historians of nineteenth-century American politics? Hard to say.
Less serious--but not insignificant. Last week in Pennsylvania, Candidate Obama indirectly violated the Second Rule of Being Steve: he looked foolish in front of the electorate.
To demonstrate his "regular-guyness" for some Quaker State hardhats, he bowled.
The Bad News: he bowled a 37 in seven frames. The pictures were horrible. He looked goofy in his shirtsleeves and necktie, bowling gutter balls and making excuses. For the first time in this campaign, he looked like a pathetic poser.
Full disclosure: I bowl about as well as I golf--which is not very impressive. But on a typical night, not having bowled for a couple of years, and drinking a beer or two during the course of the evening to loosen up, I am going to bowl between 100 and 140. That won't make it on the PBA Tour--but it generally puts me in the running for top male performer and usually beats the girls. Obama? For perspective, the last time I went bowling with family friends, their teenage daughter rolled a 37.
Bowling is a working man's game. Obama looked very much like a Harvard pansy ineptly pandering to the yokels. Although he probably won't get this conceit--he bowled a turkey without ever rolling a strike. I tend to think this tip-toe through the bowling alley may prove more damaging than most aristocratic pundits appreciated last week. In short, for that particular moment, Barack was very un-Steve.
Note: the quote from the first sentence comes from the Wikipedia entry for The Tao of Steve.
