Jean Paul Satre died and appeared before God looking very dazed and confused. God asked him, "Well, what did you expect?" "Nothing."

Rene Descartes walked into a bar and orders a drink. He finishes it and the bartender asks him, "Want another?" "I think not," he replied, and disappeared.

A rabbi, a priest, and a Protestant minister were debating which of their faiths was most effective at making converts. Finally a contest was proposed. They would all go into the woods, and the first one to convert a bear would be the winner. At the agreed upon meeting place the priest and the minister met after their ursine evangelism. "I think I won," said the priest. "I soon came upon a bear, recited the Creed, sprinkled him with water, and now he's a Catholic." "I think I was faster," said the minister. "I also met a bear, asked him if he accepted Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior, and he roared. I took that as a yes." The two of them waited and waited for the rabbi. Finally they saw him drag himself out of the woods, his clothing torn and bloody. "What happened?" the other two cried. "Maybe I should not have tried to begin with circumcision," moaned the rabbi.

One night a lion jumps into a missionary compound. First he ate a Roman Catholic priest. Then he ate a Baptist minister. Finally he ate a Methodist missionary. Then he went back into the jungle and had an ecumenical movement.