18/02: Attending Indian Funerals
Category: American Culture
Posted by: an okie gardener
I have been at four funerals in the last week and a half, conducting one and attending three. Three were Comanche, one was Caddo and Comanche. Three were Christian services all held in churches, one was mixed Christian and Native American Church held in the gym of the Comanche Tribal Center.
Here are some things I like about the conduct of these funerals, typical for our area. (more below)
*The evening before the funeral family and friends gather for a "Prayer Service." These are well-attended and typically last two to three hours: lots of singing of "church songs", usually in tribal languages; lots of memories shared as those who wish rise one-by-one and speak. Often there is a sermon. The community marks a passing in shared performance.
*The funerals are well-attended. Persons are important so Attention must be paid. There is no rush. Funerals often last two hours. I have posted a couple of times on local funerals here and here.
*Most of those attending will go to the burial. When the words are finished and the coffin lowered, a family member will take a shovel and bring dirt to the family. Most will take a handful and sprinkle soil over the casket or vault. Then the young to middle-aged men of the family will take shovels and fill the grave. Kin cover the body, not a stranger with a backhoe. Typically you do not die in isolation (I have seen hospital staff somewhat alarmed by the numbers of family members gathering in the room and hallway when death appears immanent) and you are not placed into the ground in isolation.
*After the burial is the meal; food prepared on site by the church ladies and food brought in by friends and family. Eating and talking together, reaffirming the ties among the living.
There are some resemblances here to the small town/rural funerals of my home county in Missouri. We also tend to have large funerals, and well-attended "visitations." Meals served by churches are common. While some particulars differ, the commonality is that in death, the community affirms that each person matters.
Here are some things I like about the conduct of these funerals, typical for our area. (more below)
*The evening before the funeral family and friends gather for a "Prayer Service." These are well-attended and typically last two to three hours: lots of singing of "church songs", usually in tribal languages; lots of memories shared as those who wish rise one-by-one and speak. Often there is a sermon. The community marks a passing in shared performance.
*The funerals are well-attended. Persons are important so Attention must be paid. There is no rush. Funerals often last two hours. I have posted a couple of times on local funerals here and here.
*Most of those attending will go to the burial. When the words are finished and the coffin lowered, a family member will take a shovel and bring dirt to the family. Most will take a handful and sprinkle soil over the casket or vault. Then the young to middle-aged men of the family will take shovels and fill the grave. Kin cover the body, not a stranger with a backhoe. Typically you do not die in isolation (I have seen hospital staff somewhat alarmed by the numbers of family members gathering in the room and hallway when death appears immanent) and you are not placed into the ground in isolation.
*After the burial is the meal; food prepared on site by the church ladies and food brought in by friends and family. Eating and talking together, reaffirming the ties among the living.
There are some resemblances here to the small town/rural funerals of my home county in Missouri. We also tend to have large funerals, and well-attended "visitations." Meals served by churches are common. While some particulars differ, the commonality is that in death, the community affirms that each person matters.
